Welcome Back to NL100

I found some amazing fish this morning and stacked him and ended up $160ish in the black - 16% of the way there, hell yes, let's go. But just now I sat at a couple of Rush tables for happy hour and this happened and then this happened and it made me feel pretty bad. But whatever, just coolers. I think I played them fine.

I've been noticing that recently I've been teetering on the precipice of doing something that I almost never do, which is tilt at the tables to such an extent that it affects my play. I think of myself as being pretty solid when it comes to keeping my feelings of despondency from interfering with my play, but after those two hands happened, right as I was beginning to feel some hope that maybe I was going to be able to string together a few winning sessions after the downswing of my life, I actually felt a physical sensation, a sort of smoldering discomfort in my upper abdomen, and I came pretty close to falling apart.

Even when (I think) I'm playing well, I just can't manage to win. I understand intellectually that the nature of poker is that frequently you can do everything right and still lose, but I've just been losing for so long and I feel so dejected and hopeless that I can't use that intellectual understand to salve the frustration of cooler after cooler. I feel like a little kid being punished for doing something that nobody explained to him was wrong.

NL100 Progress

$5.25 / $1000.00